CHRISTIAN SEXUALITY
Christian sexuality is a subject very rarely discussed in Churches today other than to warn of the dangers of It's abuse and degeneration. Often pastors preach the wrath of God against those who would violate the sanctity of marriage. Now, I would say rightly so, but I have never heard them preach on the proper attitudes, methods and uses of sexuality IN MARRIAGE! Perhaps if they did so there would be less of the former?
To understand Christian sexuality one must firmly understand that the Satan's purpose is to steal, destroy and pervert that which God has made Good.(John 10:10) The history of Sexuality in the bible and archeology is more than ample proof of this. Yet, should you wish more proof I am sure the porn industry can more than sicken what is left of any Christian heart. Today's porn industry even makes Paul's immortal words seem paltry!(pun intended)
1Cor 2:
Rom 1:24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves:
Rom 1:25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
Rom 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
Rom 1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet.
Rom 1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
Today, not only do men use men and women use women but horses, dogs and all sort of devices are used. Yet ,this perversion is not really new. Sodom and Gomoraha(Jeremiah 23:14} and the Hittites were sexually perverse as well. We even find temples of prostitution with prostitute priestess and rampant homosexuality in the ruins of the Roman and Greek empires. This is the world Christ came into and the world Christianity had to face.
Why is it then, as I have often ask God, when Jesus was faced with an adulterous woman at the well, he simply says. "Go and sin no more"(John 8:11). In another case he uses a woman of five broken relationship to carry the Gospel(Jn 4:17-30). Were these not perfect opportunities for "righteous Anger" against all sexual perversion and abuse! After all was it not a sexual cover up that got his friend John the Baptist's head cut off! Indeed, other than addressing the sanctity of marriage, Jesus' walk on the earth seems oddly missing the fire and brimstone against sexual misconduct and abuse.
The answers my friends, rocked my world! Quietly, he reminded me of:
Joh 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world not to condemn the world but that the world through him might be saved.
Simply put, He told me that a right relationship with Jesus will put all our relationships in the right perspective and these sins fall by the way side. To condemn the world would not save it (just ask John the Baptist ) but to set our relationships right with God,will! To allow him to teach, change and direct our attitudes, understanding and perceptions of men and women is what it's all about. ESPECIALLY with the one God gave to us as mate. Yet, of course it applys to all people in our lives.
So now, let us focus on our attitudes, understandings and perceptions of the opposite sex. Remembering that our minds are so scramble by Satan's lies as broadcast by modern educational, religious, media and governmental institution that we must go back to the ordinal purity and intent of our creation:
Gen 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
Gen 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Gen 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
The first attitude changing truth God tells us is that both male and female where created in HIS image! There is a tremendous mystery and secret here.
"let us make man in OUR image" ......"male and female created he them"
Clearly the OUR God refers to here is the male and female constitution of his being. The Male and Female spirits that occupy the male and female bodies are the reflection of Gods being. Together they make up the full image of God. Do you want proof? What is one of the Hallmark of God? He Creates, right? When a man and woman come together what happens? They can create!! The can create a human life!!!. They create a baby!.
This is powerful stuff. Realize O Man, that to abuse, degrade, debase rape or sexually defile a woman is to do so against the image of God. Such sacrilege will not go unpunished! Even the diminution of her purpose and contribution is to diminish God. A woman brings a needed perspective, opinions and discipline to the union.
Realize O Woman, that to prostitute, sell your body's image and abuse your own body is to do so to the image of God. To allow your body to be debased is to allow the image of God to be debased.
O Woman, also understand that there is order in God's Kingdom. God has declare man to be the head of the woman as Christ is the head of the church. God did not declare him superior or more valuable. God just knew there cannot be Two masters.
1Co 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Power, Unity and Peace come from the orderly submission to authority. As I mentioned before, as we allow Jesus to run all our lives our relationships work to Glory of all. Love bonds are strengthen into steel and Spirits are bound together, as the family faces life in Christ.
Now one can understand why Satan's targets to debase the sexes and sexuality. It debases the image of God and lowers the level of life to be animalistic. It is difficult to find God if we are acting and feeling like common monkeys or dogs for that matter.
However, sexuality is a gift of God. It's purpose is clearly define:
Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
The purpose of Sex is to become one flesh. To "CLEAVE" unto your "WIFE" (or husband) is to complete image of God . Sex in a word brings a man and woman together in a way that nothing else can. It bonds two souls together into a "one flesh" united of mind and spirit and, to an extent, one soul! Nothing smoothes over, unifies and conquers the petty differences in personality and relational problems as sex. Nothings (legal) makes Life's stress and strains seem more manageable and worth taking on again. Nothing changes attitude and beats depression like a loving sexual relationship the way God intended it to be.
It is important to realize that this is a process, an adventure, an on going ritual dance, not a one time act. Sex empowers 2 different but equal images of God to become a new entity in the eyes of God. "They leave father and mother and become one flesh!". A professor once told me that sex is glue that binds two rough edged and independent souls into a work of Art. Well, I'm not so sure about the Art part but it definitely is the glue that makes them become "ONE FLESH" to face and raise a family in an ungodly world. The divine dance when done right builds a wall against the world's wickedness.
However, the divine dance of becoming "one flesh" is indeed a delicate dance in a dangerous mind field. Sexual fulfillment is so closely tied to the quality of a marriage that it is almost inseparable from the totality of a marriage. Certainly, marital harmony will bring a good sex life, That's why it is difficult to separate the two.
However if we allow the norms, taboo, customs and attitudes of centuries of sexual abuse to enter the bedroom the dance can explode into destructive, crippling and hurtful war between the sexes. A WAR Satan dearly loves as it destroys the divine images and reduces us to snarling animal without trust, without love and without God. At the very least, love making becomes nothing like what God intended. At worst, it reduces us to creatures worse than animals.
Have you ever considered how swear words, such as F... you and others, are a prime examples of how the world make an act of love into a hurtful and degrading thing. Worse is the porn industry public portrayal of the private divine dance as decadent acts to satisfy beastly lusts. It amazes me (but not God of course) that the divine dance has survived these onslaughts of Satan's vengeance.
The divine dance has yet even more subtile enemy in errant doctrinal teachings that produce sexually repressive morale codes. Motivated by St. Augustinian's "sex is for procreation purposes only" and the "Victorian morales" of the past. These maladies of passion and pleasure can ruin a marriage. Like some kind of sickness, they make one feel that the act of love is shameful and a sin to enjoy it. A "lesser part of true love" as one woman once told me. Another says "I feel like a prostitute" when talking about making love to her husband,"I feel dirty". O Woman,(John 8:36) If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. Free to be a Woman. Free to be part of the divine dance. He has made you free in marriage!
Now don't get me wrong, please. The Victorian/Augustine morale codes have their place and purpose outside of Marriage. Teen girls by the thousands get pregnant, abortions by the millions, pornography is rampant and rapes are all too common because we do not hold to these codes. The Danger however is carrying these codes in our hearts and minds to the marriage bed!! That is were many women go wrong and some men should pay attention too.
Psalms 49:20 Man that is in honor, and understandeth not, is like the beasts that perish.
O' Man know that a woman honor you in the divine dance and that you should honor her. As I have said, Satan fills the mind with the bestiality of sex. Indeed, male and female sexuality is powerful thing and can be miss used as can hatred, Intelligence, fear and a host of other powers God gives both men and beasts. O' Man you should have dominion over these things to the Glory of God. They should not have dominion over you as they do the beasts! O' Woman allow the joy, pleasure and love to overflow you. Quench not the spirit of
the blessed Union!
While the divine dance is a unique and special dance for each couple there are also perverted acts, even inside of marriage. These acts can destroy the unity and divinity of a marriage. They dishonor the woman or the man and play into Satan's hands. FREE LOVE(ie free sex) is never FREE. Many of the Sex practices of the porn industry and the world have no place in God's Union. However, it's important to appreciate the great importance of the divine dance. It's important to make it a fresh and wondrous part to your married life.
THE DEVINE DANCE incorporates all the aspects of God. There is humility, giving, receiving, Joy, Peace, Rapture, sacrifice, praise, resurrection, life and of course creation, in the holy sexual union of man and woman. SEX gives better quality and length of life according to the AMA. Sex resurrects old ( and sometime dead) feeling of love and caring for each other. The Joy and Peace of sex can only be experienced not explained. Giving and receiving of pleasure in passion raises us( if only for a moment) to the divine. We give our bodies as sacrifices one to the other in all humility of love. Indeed, Sex as it was meant to be, is both the gift and sign of God's love toward us.
Fulfillment in the sexual arena is a by-product of the quality of the marriage relationship. It should be allowed to flourish, grow and expand as our marriage relationship and our relationship with Jesus grows. Attaining the spiritual and harmony heights God wants us to have in our marriage and our sex life is no easy task. Like the Christian life itself, it take works, payer, communication and sacrifice and most importantly of all lots of LOVE.
Below I leave you with some simple dance steps to perhaps help you to greater ballets!
- COMMUNICATION: Talk to each other about what pleases and what doesn't. About fantasies and role playing. What set's the mood what doesn't. Communication, both verbal and non-verbal are keys to intimacy. Don't let the taboos (with in reason now) and the worry of "hurting your partners feelings" get in the way.
- WORK: Many sexual dysfunction are due to the fact that we do not Honor our temple, the body. Healthy exercise, diet and care for our bodies not only overcome dysfunction but are sexy in and of themselves. It's a fight, particularly as we grow older, but it's a good fight! Also remember, that boredom can even enter the bedroom. Take some "weekend escapes" or "love vacations" to enhance and work on the marriage relationship.
- PRAYER: meditation on the love you have and the good times help prepare you and raise your sexual spiritual level. Asking God to help you forgive and forget and see a new will help quench the dart of the evil one that wishes to destroy our sexuality.
- SACRAFICE: Love hurts they say. Sometimes we just have to sacrifice our soap operas, sports events, activity to be with and fulfill the one we love. Sometimes both partners have to have a humble and sacrificing spirit to make love work. Both partners sometimes have to humbly submit themselves for the pleasure of the other. A sacrifice of love.
- LOVE: READ chapter 13 of Corinthians together. Note that love making is not always the same through all aspects and years of a marriage. We have to have all the tools of chapter 13 to make it work. Patience being one of them. Like I said, you need lots and lots of love